I got some pretty bad news this week. I was rejected. I think I actually deal with failure and rejection pretty well (once I get past the initial sadness then anger) and it’s only because I have lots and lots of practice. I don’t have a showroom of failures but I’m thinking about it.
Like my friend and mentor Mark Solon (@mark_solon) once told me, “No is the second best answer.” It was also when working with Mark and the guys at Highway 12 Ventures that I learned why VC’s like entrepreneurs who have a failure or two under their belt.
My life is filled with rejection and I’ve faced plenty of failure. Every company I have been an owner/partner of is out of business today. The very first company I ever owned (the skateboard shop) went out of business several years after I sold it due to the recession but it still hurt. The next company, (a small marketing firm called BlueLine) went under after I left and I tried to warn them it was going down. But the next two startups I tried on my own never even got off the ground.
I don’t think we talk about rejection and failure enough. It’s really easy to talk about the great things happening in our lives. Especially those of us in Marketing, PR, Communications, we make our living talking about the positive things for our clients or trying to stop people talking about the bad things. I for one have never had a client ask me to help them proactively talk about their failures. I think that would be the best project ever.
But in reality failure and rejection happen almost every day. As a kid, my mom used to tell me if I wasn’t crashing, I wasn’t trying hard enough.
I learn a lot from rejection and failure. Mostly I learn about myself. It’s easy to be confident and happy when things are going well. It’s even relatively easy to move on when failure and rejection happen behind closed doors. You can just pretend it never happened.
In the United States we’re very lucky though. We have a culture that does accept failure and we love a good comeback story. Whenever I talk to business professionals from Europe and Asia its one of the things that they comment on about the US. If your business goes under, you declare bankruptcy in the US, you can start over and while it’s embarrassing, you can start over and that’s okay with everyone. It’s one of the biggest reasons the US has such a high entrepreneurial culture compared to most of the World.
Back to my pain.
So why am I talking about this now? Why embarrass myself by pointing out my rejection? Well for one it’s probably just cathartic for me. It also turns out another unrelated very cool opportunity has popped up because of the experience (more on that later). But the main reason is that I think we need to talk about out failures more. We need to be comfortable and okay with the fact that life and business don’t turn out the way we want.
In my time working with companies big and small, I think far too much time and energy are spent trying to not be wrong, or spin failures into not-really-a-failure, instead of accepting it, owning it, learning from it and moving on. And I think we’re just as bad at it in our personal lives.
The other thing my mom used to tell me was that chicks dig scars. Scars are cool.
(BTW, for those interested I was applying for another Masters degree program. Maybe I’m just done with formal education.)
Similar Posts:
- Why I took the job instead of doing a startup
- Web 2.0, Venture Capital and Me
- Marketing is broken because Marketers are lazy
# of Comments 3
# of Comments 18
# of Comments 2